Saturday, January 27, 2007

Pardon me, but you look ridiculous

I think I've made it clear that I take Ugg boot wearing as a serious offense. Many of my friends, however, have these retched shoes, and I'm able to overlook it.

Today my older sister informed me of a situation I cannot overlook.

While visiting an indoor water park Aimee came across a most peculiar sight. An 18 year old female on the pool deck fashioning a teeny tiny bikini. Of course this is not abnormal in this day and age, but wait, I'm not finished. A top of this bikini she wore a winter jacket (unzipped), a short jacket with fur lining the hood. To add insanity to madness, this bright young lady was also sporting Ugg boots. Approximate temperature on pool deck: 70 degrees.

Which leads to the all important question: What thought process leads to such a display?

*In Hotel room preparing to go downstairs to the pool*
Hmmm. What to wear? What...to...wear? A tiny string bikini! Yes that's it! It is completely useless and will probably fall apart should I actually end up in the water, but darn it, I'll look good.
*Glances out window*
Oh my gosh! Is it snowing? In January? Really? Hmmm. Better take a coat. I'll just take this short one here and not zip it up so the world can still see my amazing suit. I'd like to parade around the pool deck, but it's always so wet. I wouldn't want to dampen my toes. Shoes. Yes shoes would be perfect.
*Opens closet*
Flip flops...no, those are summer shoes, it's January.
Tennis shoes...no, I'm not trying to get a work out in here.
Uggs...oh my gosh! Yes that's perfect. I mean, it is snowing out after all!

It is fortunate that I was not present for this spectacle. Had I come across this unique individual on the pool deck I probably wouldn't have been able to avoid pulling her aside and saying, "Pardon me, but you look ridiculous."

8 comments:

Unknown said...

Imagine a one on one chat with you an Ugg.

*contemplates*

Who the hell is Ugg anyways? He's probably some disheaveled man who cross dresses eats limburger cheese for all 3 courses of food.

krustacianken said...

are you serious?

Unknown said...

Hmmm. I am thinking that instead of the,"Pardon me, but you look ridiculous." I would have gone for a come here finger over to the edge of the pool where I would be standing. Where at that time I would pretend like I was going to tell her a secret and violently push her skinny ass in the pool. Which would tragically destroy her favorite pool side attire.

Unknown said...

Ryan-If I were to converse with Mr. Ugg, it would not be a chat, but more like a stern talking to.
Kenric-Yes. I'm always serious. 24/7. As a heart attack.
Megan-You are forgiven for wearing the outfit, but not for your final comments.
Angela-Yes could plan.

Unknown said...

good* plan (not could plan)

krustacianken said...

I was saying that to Ryan.

Unknown said...

My bad. I revoke my comment and apply it to Ryan in that case.

pilgrimchick said...

The "Ugg" boot hit England before taking the US by storm (just like those really skinny jeans that look good on, say, no one). The added bonus in England was the weather--now, they are a ridiculous piece of fashion nonsense here, but imagine marching around in what constitutes "typical" wet, muddy English weather wearing Ugg boots. And me with my L.L.Bean waterproofers. What was I thinking?