Monday, March 31, 2008

Because I'm an Idiot Too

I did something outrageously stupid last Thursday. I hit a fence with my truck. No, it's not as hard to do as one might think. My idiot neighbor thought it would be a good idea to put up a fence to separate our alley access driveways. It's probably a miracle I made it as long as I did (a month) without hitting it. Because I'm an upstanding citizen, I decided to send my neighbor a formal apology...

Dear New Neighbor,

I'd like to take this opportunity to apologize for hitting your appealing (read: hideous eye-sore) chain-link fence. I'm sure it was very troublesome to have past tenants park 3cm over the boundary and onto your slab of concrete. That must have been hard for you, seeing as how you only have a double wide driveway to park your solitary vehicle. I'm so pleased that you installed this practical (read: useless) fence long before I moved in because I would have hated to accidentally invade your space. I noticed that your privacy is very important to you, made evident by the eight "NO TRESPASSING, PRIVATE PROPERTY!" signs you have scattered about your 100 sq ft of property, and so I apologize for having to come to the door and explain to you that I'd just folded your fence in half with my over-sized vehicle. I would, however, like to offer you a small piece of neighborly advice. If you're trying to protect your private property, I would suggest you get something a little more threatening than the Reign of Terror you currently have protecting your home. I also want you to know that I am not at all upset about the damage my truck suffered when your fence (read: bane of my existence) attacked me. In fact, I consider it a worthy and just punishment for attempting to park in my own driveway. I'm really glad that you've decided to repair the fence. I can't even imagine how I'd go on if you did the sensible thing and just took it down.
Can't wait for the bill!

Bridget








In other news...I now have a roommate! Yay! No more living alone! Hurrah!

Her name is Penelope Jones. We get along pretty well, but I suspect she does drugs. For one, she has severe mood swings which generally result in temper tantrums involving a rain shower of wood shavings all over my floor. She also tends to exert random bursts of energy which result in her running circles in her room and twitching compulsively. I usually just try not to talk to her when this is occurring. It's usually best that way.





Warning: Bitchy rant to ensue.
I'm not sure if everyone is aware about how this blog operates, so let me just go over some ground rules. It's actually not a call in and request kind of thing. You do not pay me to write, therefore I'll post whatever I darn well please. Recipe requests and all.

9 comments:

Ryne said...

Oh my goodness Bridget. Good job! It adds a little character to that monster truck that you drive. May I suggest that when you tell the story, you begin it with... "I was minding my own business when suddenly, a Fraggle jumped out in front of the truck..."

Anonymous said...

Nice truck!! I like the pictures, especially of the little reign of terror.

I think that Penelope is a little more threatening :)

AML

Anonymous said...

Liam wants to say thank you for the awesome Winnie the Pooh clock that you got him. He loves the movement and the colors.

Let me tell you how much I love this clock (tick tick tick tick) sorry, back to reality. Liam really enjoys all of the (tick tick tick tick) sorry, again, fun and birght (tick tick tick tick tick) damn it I have to stop that, colors.

I love falling asleep to the lovely ticking noise it makes, it is just so faint that we do not even need a baby monitor to hear it three rooms away, through closed doors.

No really, it is an awesome clock, we love it a lot!!!!

Just beware of future gifts from your sister and brother-in-law, (spooky laughter has ensued).

~Tom, your most favorite first and only brother-in-law~

Bridget said...

you are welcome

Jess said...

Bridget.....

you amaze me:) I think Penelope and Bo should have a play date....

anyway hope you are having a wonderful week!!!


Jess

Kenric said...

Bridget! Thats a great picture of Penny in front of her house.

Bridget said...

I know isn't it?!

Anonymous said...

I think perhaps the Reign of Terror had frightened you into gently nudging that lovely (read: you are right that fence is an abomination to fences everywhere)chain link fence.

I am glad to see he is so diligently working on fence repair. Something tells me you can look forward to driveway cones all summer long. At least it will give the Reign of Terror somewhere to sniff and (dare I say!!) leak. Now that's scary. . .

Aunt Lori

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