Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Jamba Juice

12:30pm: Darn it, I'm hungry. Ooooo. This granola bar looks swell. This should hold me over until dinner.
*Granola Bar consumed*
12:31pm: That was really good. So satisfying.
12: 39pm: Holy Cats! I'm starving. Stupid granola bar!
12:41pm: I should eat something. Yes KFC, let's eat KFC.
12:42pm: No! I feel like that is counter productive to the run we did this morning. Oh come on! We'll get that twister thing. There's lettuce in that, how can it not be good for you?
12:43pm: It costs money! We have no income. Income? Psh. Take some money from Johnny. No! That's not nice.
12:44pm: I need something free. I should just make a sandwich. Noooooooo! Such effort! Don't do it! How is that going to be satisfying?! Shhhhh Inner Bridget, I have no money. A sandwich will be just fine. Doubt it.
12: 45pm: WAIT! I'VE GOT IT! Jamba Juice! Oh my gosh! I'm right! I have a coupon for a free smoothie!
12:47pm: *Jump into truck, drive to Jamba Juice.*
12:55pm: *Arrive at Jamba Juice. Open purse to dig out coupon.*
12:56pm: *Dig through purse for 5th time...still no coupon.*
12:57pm: Where is my coupon! What the heck?! It was just in here a few days ago. When was the last time you saw it? When we pulled it out to use it with Ryne but Jamba Juice was closed...wait a minute. Ryne stole it! He stole our coupon! Ryne wouldn't steal it, don't be silly. Oh yes he would! Greedy! He took it alright! He's a dead man!
12:58pm: *Contemplating*
12:59pm: Do you really think he took it? Well it didn't get up and walk out of here now did it? He is a dead man! Hell hath no fury like a woman robbed of her free smoothie!
1:00pm: What now? What do you mean what now? Get in there! Go buy us a smoothie, I'm starving! But now I have to pay for it. Come on, I know you're hungry. Fine! But just this once.
1:05pm: *Exit Jamba Juice, smoothie in hand.*
1:15pm: *Smoothie consumed to completion.*
1:19pm: I'm starving!

11:30pm: *Searching jean pockets*
11:31pm: What's this? My Jamba Juice coupon! Hurrah! Fantastic! I can't believe you blamed Ryne.

Sunday, May 27, 2007

Spring Shopping

Isn't shopping for clothes fun? I love walking into a place and seeing nothing but size 0-4 crowding every rack. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside to have to scrounge about to the very back of each rack praying that they have at least one pair of shorts in a double digit size. Usually they don't bother to put these ones out. Apparently women that size don't need clothes. They can just wear togas or ponchos. Don't worry, if that's not your style usually there's a for sale rack hidden somewhere in the store. This is most likely located in a hole in the wall behind the sea of flip flops, accessed by spinning the green and white striped ones counterclockwise three times. That is where you will find clothes for the "other women."

And aren't the new spring fashions just darling? I'm sure every girl has enough self confidence and lacks enough modesty and morals to skip around in shorts that just barely cover her rear end. Thank goodness we were all born with twig like legs to pull these off. I also really enjoy the cute new tops that are out right now. I mean sure, I didn't realize they were shirts at first, I mistook one or two for a bandanna, and that other thing for a skirt, but after I bumped into the manikins, it all started making sense. Those dresses are awesome too. I hear see-through is the new black anyways right?

I guess I just have a few questions...
1) Do you have anything that will at least cover up my undergarments?
2) If I wanted to do something besides stand up straight and look pretty, do you have anything that wouldn't fall off my body while functioning on a normal human being level?
3) Since you've woven your dresses into pretty little numbers with gaping holes, do you have another dress I could put on underneath it?
4) If I were to wear the shirt that looks like a mini skirt, can I simultaneously wear a few of the shirts that look like bandannas, strategically fashioned to cover the rest of my torso?
5) The white see-through pants are really lost on me, can you explain those?
6) Let's say, just as a hypothetical question, that I wanted to cover up more than 10% of my body...do you have a swimsuit for that?
7) Ultra low rise jeans? For real? What? Why?
8) How do you sit in those? And still feel comfortable?
9) I'm all for recycling, but since when did people start turning in their hammocks so that they could be made into articles of clothing?
10) If I wear a large, what are women bigger than me supposed to wear? Seriously.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007


Dear Ice Cream Truck Driver Man-

Perhaps you didn't get the memo. It's warm outside. Come back. Today the temperature is hovering around 85 degrees, and you are no where to be found. I know it's only May, but I REALLY need some ice cream. Of course I could go to the store, but then I'd miss out on that fine music that you so eloquently blare from your speakers. I really want (NEED) a Choco Taco. Don't even try to lie to me and tell me you've been out and about, and that I just haven't heard you. I have a special sense for these things. I can hear you come from miles off...with headphones on...in the middle of a hail storm...over my sister practicing her trumpet. Maybe you should just give me your cell phone number, or your pager. That way we won't have these conflicts.
I miss you a lot,

Dear Johnny,
I can't believe you ate the last Drumstick! You do realize that the Ice Cream Truck Driver Man is not yet making his rounds?! You've completely put my mood/life in jeopardy. Go buy me one of those Chocolate Eclair Bars.
~Your Favorite Sister

Dear Neighbor Girl~
I noticed that you were out on your deck tanning when I awoke at 11am. It concerns me that you are still out tanning now, and it's after 3pm. I let it go the first 5 days in a row I witnessed this all day event, but now I feel I must really say something. First of all, you probably just graduated college as I did, seeing as we graduated high school at the same time, and I assume you should be doing something with your life, like finding a job. Tanning for six hours a day might interfere with this search. Secondly, one's skin should not resemble a Coach Purse. That's not hot. You were officially tan about two weeks ago. You can stop now. This is just over kill. Lastly, I'm sorry about the singing. I forget that you spend your entire day sunbathing on your deck and that you can hear me singing from my kitchen while I do the dishes. That's my bad.
SPF 45 is nice.

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Where Have I Been?

Oh my gosh, where have I been? Why have I not been blogging? Seriously, not one post in the whole month of April, that's ridiculous!

It's not my fault, really it isn't. You can blame the following:

1) 3 months of procrastination which led to one intense month of April (how is that my fault?!)
2) Kenric (yeah that's right, I said it)
3) Graduating/Saying Goodbye (teh sad)
4) Nice weather

Now that I've completely pawned off all the blame, let's get down to business. So I've graduated from Northern Michigan University with a Bachelors of Science in Athletic Training. Yay. Time to relax...not. I start grad school in June at Midwestern University. I'll be there for two years studying to be a Physician Assistant. Blah blah blah...enough of this.

New topic. So saying goodbye to people was a lot harder than I imagined it would be. The result was an over emotional Bridget who cried at the drop of a hat and rocked back and forth till the early hours of the morning. I'm not so good with the whole change thing. I met a lot of amazing people over the past four years and I wish I could take them all with me wherever I go. This is not the case. I can, however, take with me the lessons I learned from them all. A large part of learning is sharing your knowledge with the next person, so here I go...

1) No situation is ever hopeless.
2) Trusting people is the only way you'll ever get anywhere in life.
3) The most courageous person you'll ever meet may just be a triple jumper who only stands 5 feet 3 inches tall (correction 5'1").
4) The world doesn't end when someone else sees you cry.
5) Good friends are hard to find, but hard and impossible have never been the same thing.
6) You're never too old for Lego's and coloring books...or sand toys.
7) Sometimes you just need to hug it out.
8) No one ever has it all figured out.
9) When you dream, dream big.
10) In life you're going to say things you wish you hadn't, but remember God knew you were going to say them hundreds of years before they ever rolled off your tongue. Just go with it.
11) The wisest people you'll ever meet are usually younger than you. Probably because they've been learning from your mistakes.
12) You can search all you want for the remote, but there are some things in life that you just can't rewind.
13) Being sure of your future is impossible, being sure of yourself is imperative. Love yourself.
14) The people you love the most are the people who can hurt you the most. Love them anyways. Love to the point of sacrifice.
15) Sometimes you receive gifts from God that you don't think you deserve. He doesn't accept returns, just say thanks.
16) Life is not easy. If it's easy, then we're probably not living it right. We all have crosses to bear, but there is glory in the cross.
17) If you can't see yourself through God's eyes, find someone who can. Ask them what they see...and believe them.
18) The times in your life where you feel most alone are the times when God is closest, reach out and latch on.
19) The only situations that are impossible to get through are the ones we try to get through alone.
20) Every person deserves a chance...or 7 times 77 chances.
21) Never be afraid to try new things...even if you do end up spitting them out later.
22) Getting lost is an adventure worth taking every now and again.
23) Time is never wasted, when it's spent with people you care about.
24) It's not about the pizza and the treats. It's never been about that. It's about the people.
25) Surround yourself with people who will never give up on you.
26) A ledger pad is useless without the paper that fills it and the individuals who write in their lasting impact.
27) When someone comes to you for help, it's not a mistake.
28) The only things we need to strive for in life are faith, hope, and love. The end.
29) Don't ever write yourself off, you never know when a blond-haired, blue-eyed boy is going to walk into your life and prove you wrong.
30) If you get the choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance.

As I drove out of Marquette this past Sunday I remember looking out my rear view mirror thinking, "objects in mirror are closer than they appear." I don't think 400 miles will ever change that. I love you guys!