Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Correspondence

Dear Ice Cream Truck Driver Man-

Perhaps you didn't get the memo. It's warm outside. Come back. Today the temperature is hovering around 85 degrees, and you are no where to be found. I know it's only May, but I REALLY need some ice cream. Of course I could go to the store, but then I'd miss out on that fine music that you so eloquently blare from your speakers. I really want (NEED) a Choco Taco. Don't even try to lie to me and tell me you've been out and about, and that I just haven't heard you. I have a special sense for these things. I can hear you come from miles off...with headphones on...in the middle of a hail storm...over my sister practicing her trumpet. Maybe you should just give me your cell phone number, or your pager. That way we won't have these conflicts.
I miss you a lot,
Bridget

Dear Johnny,
I can't believe you ate the last Drumstick! You do realize that the Ice Cream Truck Driver Man is not yet making his rounds?! You've completely put my mood/life in jeopardy. Go buy me one of those Chocolate Eclair Bars.
~Your Favorite Sister

Dear Neighbor Girl~
I noticed that you were out on your deck tanning when I awoke at 11am. It concerns me that you are still out tanning now, and it's after 3pm. I let it go the first 5 days in a row I witnessed this all day event, but now I feel I must really say something. First of all, you probably just graduated college as I did, seeing as we graduated high school at the same time, and I assume you should be doing something with your life, like finding a job. Tanning for six hours a day might interfere with this search. Secondly, one's skin should not resemble a Coach Purse. That's not hot. You were officially tan about two weeks ago. You can stop now. This is just over kill. Lastly, I'm sorry about the singing. I forget that you spend your entire day sunbathing on your deck and that you can hear me singing from my kitchen while I do the dishes. That's my bad.
SPF 45 is nice.
~Bridget

11 comments:

Ogre said...

All I have to say is...wow! Yeah, people with "tanorexia" have my persmission to be shot! GO TO A TANNING BOOTH! unless it's a he and...i'll let you fill in the rest. >)

Cat said...

haa haa.... I love it!!! I biked to the beach today for about 45 min. There was a guy about late 30's...who had his shorts pulled down mid-crack. Why do you need your butt crack tanned? I don't get it!

wendling said...

sooooooo the ice cream truck came down my street yesterday, i was over joyed

Bridget said...

Wha?! You got the ice cream truck?! NO FAIR!

twofortango said...

I had Frosty Treats last night! This inspires me to work on my tan. You can see the green veins in my arms. SICK!

Bridget said...

Green veins?! Who are you? The Hulk? Poison Ivy? Shrek? Fiona? The Jolly Green Giant? Slimer? A Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle (make that a Young Adult Mutant Ninja Turtle)? Ok, I'm done.

wendling said...

i did get the truck.. but i restrained myself from going out to get some ice-cream...

Ryne said...

On mothers day, there was an ice cream truck driving around... I never saw it, however I heard the Christmas... yes, I said CHRISTMAS music playing for about 30 minutes

Ogre said...

I AM SOOOO MAD AT YOU FOR CHANING YOUR SCREEN YOUR BLOG NAME!!! WHAT THE HELL?! I DEMAND YOU CHANGE IT BACK IMMEDIATLEY! MONKEY PEAS?!!!! EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!

Bridget said...

That response was everything I imagined it would be and more. I figured you'd be the angriest. Mwahaha. You change your name all the time, back off chuckles. Love you!

Katie said...

i'm digging the designer name dropping you've got going on (coach)...IMPRESSED!!