Monday, October 30, 2006

Dilemma

God is always throwing gifts in our direction, but many times we do not recognize these gifts. As I roamed the third floor of our library I happened to pass by a desk with a lone half eaten bag of Skittles lying upon it. The desk's previous owner had just abandoned it, leaving the Skittles scared, alone, and most importantly uneaten. I saw the bag out of the corner of my eye as I passed and did a total back pedal to go back and examine the situation. I stood at the desk staring down and the little yellow one which had tried to escape the bag.

Would this be considered improper? Unsanitary? Borderline psychotic/pathetic? Maybe this is a gift from God. It's not nice to ignore gifts. I am pretty hungry...
NO! WALK AWAY! NOT GOOD! Maybe just one...NO! OMG! THEY ARE TROPICAL FLAVORED!

I walked away...Skittleless.

Unable to shake the image of the orphan Skittles I sought some sound advice on the issue. I asked Kenric what his thoughts were on eating the Skittles. After much deliberation he voted in favor of the Skittle's lives. No eating. He mentioned some mumbo jumbo about not knowing who had been eating the skittles prior to my discovery of them, whether or not that individual was a nose picker, and what disease he/she may have had. I restrained myself from bringing up the fact that I had witnessed him set his hamburger right down on the table (as in off of his plate and on the table) earlier today and the fact that the nasty rag we use to wipe down all of the tables and then dunk into a bucket of communal waste water probably didn't set the stage for sanitary eating). Instead I considered his advice and had just made up my mind to ignore it, when OBD crossed my mind. Yikes we have less than two weeks, and the one and a half ice cream cones consumed earlier today (yes Rob one and a half...Christina couldn't finish hers) has already gone against my code red regulations.

Needless to say, the Skittles we live to see another day.

Well, that is until the janitorial staff comes across them. Somebody is going to cash in on that God-sent.

6 comments:

Kenric said...
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Angela said...

You ate one and half of those ice cream cones! You are my hero!

Kenric said...

sound advice. haha. rigggggggght.

Rob said...

One and a half ice cream cones, in the name of "mental well being" is ok! You'll just have to develope an eating disorder for the next two weeks!

Good luck.

Ogre said...

It can be solidified today. You are truly a whore.

BTW, I would have had no hesitation chowing down. There was a perfect opportunity to build up your immune system. You might have gotten sick, yes, BUT! being sick would have made you NOT want to eat anything.

God was just simply trying to help you by giving you a gastrointestinal infection that would have made you shit like goose, vomit...........and lose weight. Then after two days of pain and suffering, you would have lost so much weight that your peers would have all thought you were anorexic or bulemic. Then on the last week, you would have had to eat your weight in delicious pizza and oreos and would have been worry free.

Next time, you need to ask yourself...."What would Jesus Do?"

Jesus wouldn't abandon the lepers....

Good luck on OBD!

~With Love,

Slut Bucket

evilkeight said...

As a future librarian I always get really pissed when I find half-eaten food and/ or garbage in the library. I mean, if you're going to be devious enough to sneak it in, at least clean up after yourself--one should not abandon their ninja skills just because you're done with the food. What I'm saying is that food + library = bad.
I did, however, go straight for the half-consumed brownie someone left at my table this weekend. I don't think you're strange.